Originally posted July 28, 2015
Many of us spend too much time worrying, which means we’re spending too much time thinking about a problem non-constructively. Worrying actually gets in the way of finding solutions and then dealing with the problem.
When we notice we’re worrying, we should of course stop worrying and deal with the problem constructively. This may seem so utterly simple and obvious, so why don’t we all just do this when we find ourselves worrying?
The mind seems to flinch away from situations it unconsciously feels incapable of solving. The nature of worry is helplessness. When we are worrying we are assuming helplessness, which greatly increases our real helplessness by sending those signals to everyone around us. Are we unintentionally begging for outside assistance?
The mind is well aware of our problem, maybe painfully so, but in this state of excessive worry it assumes there is no way out of the situation. We worry about our problem as if that would make it go away. Or perhaps in the vague hope that if we worry long enough maybe something will eventually just come to us?
If we change our viewpoint and see worry as an alarm clock — like fear and anger — we can more quickly realize that the alarm will get turned off when the causes for the alarm get analyzed and acted upon.
If you are currently worrying about a situation (or next time you are), figure out what’s really bugging you. To drill down deeply, I find it helpful to get writing tools or my laptop and just write, defining the problem and systematically analyzing ways to solve the problem once and for all. I might draw pictures or diagrams of the situation and all its parts, adding notes about how certain parts of the situation trigger certain feelings, and why they trigger those feelings.
Consider that what is worrying you may contain some half-baked information, or you’ve misread a part of the situation. Possibly there’s missing information that has been frustrating you and keeping you from being able to spell out solutions.
In my experience, The Universe tends not to throw us assignments that are above our pay grade (though we can unwittingly force our way into such situations by not reading the warning signs in time). When you are worried, assume that you can work it out. There are always options. Trust that you’ll figure out the right steps for the situation and you’ll do as much as you can from your side. If you are not just idly worrying and doing nothing about the situation, your conscience will be clear, your intentions firm. You are impeccable.
The rest is up to the Universe.
Best to all,
Bill
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